


don't have the right name or the right looks but i have twice the heart

by somerdaye



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 18:23:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3619743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somerdaye/pseuds/somerdaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With only six months to build a ship that the world is counting on, Leo doesn't have time for the following things: a friend's identity crisis, a full night's sleep, his <i>own</i> identity crisis, and Jason Grace's sweet smiles. He must have pissed someone on his dad's side of the family off, because he's forced to make time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't have the right name or the right looks but i have twice the heart

**Author's Note:**

> there is a graphic description of a panic attack, canon-typical death/sadness, self image & body image problems (dysphoria), passing mentions of transphobia
> 
> for 8000 trans characters a month, i will stop

"Breaks aren't allowed here," Leo exclaims before Piper can fully enter Bunker Nine. She holds her hands up as if to placate him, but the twitching of her lips give her away. Her eyes dart to the TV screen - that he plans on installing in the ship once it's done, but for now he's just using to watch Netflix - and an eyebrow raises. "What? Okay, yeah, so I'm watching Psych, _y qué_? I can multi-task."

She leaps onto that like a guilt jaguar. "Multi-task with other people, then, Valdez."

"You aren't qualified to help assemble this," he says dismissively, fiddling with the trickier parts of the engine he's built.

"You have siblings who are," Piper shoots back.

And, oh. That's a thing Leo has genuinely forgotten about. He shrugs, feeling much more awkwardly aware of the amount of machine grease on him. It isn't that he doesn’t like his siblings, because they seem like rad enough people, he just doesn't know how to do this part, where he takes something from his mind and maps it out for someone else to follow. Leo is the kid who slaps together a group project on his own and plays it off as sheer luck when he gets a high grade for it - no sense in drawing attention to it, when there's already so many things people could be beating him up for.

Not that he thinks his brothers and sisters would - but, well, maybe they would. He doesn't know them at all.

Piper sees something in his expression and hers softens. She makes a motion as though she wants to touch him, but her hand drops when she realises he's too far away.

"Hey," she says, voice curling around Leo's face warmer than a caress, "you can do this. But you can't do it as a recluse and you definitely can't build the whole ship in one marathon session, so come on. Slumber party in the Zeus cabin."

"Zeus would hate that," says Leo, mostly because he has nothing else to say, and he's pretty sure it's charmspeak that gets him to put his tools down. Then he pauses, thinks about showering in Jason's cabin, and balks. "Gonna hit the shower here first, meet you there."

She turns to leave, the kind of understanding on her face that makes Leo's throat close up before he remembers that it's okay, Piper is his friend, Piper is safe to talk to. She tosses a, "You _will_ be there," over her shoulder that is definitely charmspeak, and he waves her off. Of course he will be. Jason is actually more fun to be around without his memories of Wilderness School, and if Annabeth is there she can help him with the Argo II plans.

He showers as quickly as humanly - well, demigodly - possible and half runs back to camp. Everything he's done in the past month aside, these woods still freak him out.

It's weird, the way kids wave at him and call out his name, like he's some kind of celebrity around here. Annabeth told him that it would die down eventually, but that he had an air of mystery from staying holed up in Bunker Nine every day since the quest.

'Mysterious' isn't a word Leo would have ever used to describe himself, and he wishes they'd move on and go back to worshipping Percy Jackson.

One of the Stolls stops him when he passes the basketball court and says, "Got what you asked for, when do you need it?"

"Not now," Leo squeaks, looking around frantically. The only person looking at them is the other Stoll, who raises his hand in a wave and goes back to shooting elastic bands at the Apollo kids playing ball.

"Yeah, okay, calm down," Stoll says. "I don't particularly care if someone finds it in my bunk, but I would prefer getting paid for the trouble."

"I'll pay you in the morning, okay?"

Stoll nods and walks backwards to where his brother is lounging in the grass. He seems like he wants to say something else, but Leo is done with this conversation.

The stress of Travis and Connor knowing why he needs a box of tampons almost makes his chest seize up, but it can’t be helped. He doesn’t want Piper stealing again.

He pauses on the porch of the Zeus cabin, wondering if he should actually get the tampons from Connor (or Travis) now. He isn't due to start for another week... but he's not in his own bed or the bunker and he _knows_ Jason would panic at any sight of blood.

No, he'll be okay. He should thank a few of the gods that he didn't get his period while they were on the quest, but he has no idea who's in charge of that.

"Leo?"

Jumping a little, he turns to see Annabeth, standing on the cabin steps with a pillow under her arm and a bemused expression. He hikes a silly grin onto his face to hide his festering anxiety - his specialty.

"Wassup, Annabeth," he says, shoving his hands in his pockets.

She tilts her head, considering him, taking him apart with her steely eyes. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Totally!" He laughs unconvincingly. "Yeah, I just haven't been out of Bunker Nine in... how many hours is five and a half days? A hundred thirty-two," he answers before Annabeth can even open her mouth. "I mean, like, uh, a lot of hours."

"A lot of hours," she agrees, taken aback. "You deserve a break."

"So do you," Leo says, gesturing in her general direction. They know where Annabeth's boyfriend most likely is, but they can't go get him until the Argo II is done. Leo's throat closes up. Why isn't he working on it _right now?_ Annabeth needs to get across the country as soon as possible.

Like she knows what he's thinking, Annabeth squeezes his arm and turns him towards the cabin door. He lets himself be led into Jason's cabin, but the guilt doesn't go away. "You can't finish it tonight," she says in a low voice, so Jason and Piper, on the other side of the cabin, can't hear. "You can't. It isn't possible to stay awake until it's finished, okay? So just. Let's forget about it tonight."

Jason looks up from where he's focused on braiding Piper's hair and greets them with a blinding smile. Leo's chest feels weird, like someone's making flapjacks out of his lungs. He reminds himself to calm down before he catches on fire - again.

There's no time for this. Leo does _not_ have time for this.

"Hey, guys," Piper says, using her dagger's reflective metal to see Jason's handiwork. "Jason! This is too... neat. Please try it again."

Jason's fingers falter and his eyes drift out of focus. Leo knows that look and, frankly, hates it.

"I'm used to braiding hair neatly," he says quietly.

Leo sends up a silent prayer that nobody will ask what he means, but the gods have never been very reliable. The girls are both excited and wary that he remembers more, but Leo feels his friend slipping further and further away.

While the three of them talk about Jason's most recent breakthrough, Leo settles onto Piper's ridiculously large sleeping bag and pulls some schematics out of his toolbelt.

The blueprints in the bunker were super helpful with recreating the Argo II on paper, but half of the measurements are impossible and the other half are just guesses. They knew less than he does about building a flying ship back then, Leo supposes, but it's still annoying that he has to rework every little nail and curve himself. It's good enough distraction, though, that by the time Piper throws her shoe at him the conversation has migrated to monster stories.

"What about you, Leo?" Jason asks like Leo hadn't just lobbed Piper's shoe back and hit him in the shin. "What's the scariest thing you fought before you knew?"

Leo thinks. He thinks about the ghosts that follow him everywhere, the dirt woman smiling serenely, the rattlesnake, the many faceless foster parents who wouldn’t call him Leo. The real answer, of course, is that he always _knew_. Not many babies burned their mothers when she tried to soothe them.

He's been lost in thought long enough for his friends to look a bit concerned, so he laughs and shrugs. "Guess Houston is too humid for monsters."

\---

When Leo wakes up in the middle of the night, Piper is breathing warm air into his ear and Annabeth's feet are cold against his. Jason has his own sleeping bag, a foot or so away from them. Leo's heart hurts, a bit, because Annabeth's legs are tangled with his and Piper has her arm pulled tightly around him to hold onto Annabeth's shirt, while Jason is... alone. Sleeping flat on his back like a soldier.

Leo wriggles out of Piper's vice grip and stands, almost smiling when she just pulls Annabeth closer, since the floor is so cold that they had no real choice but to snuggle up to Leo. Annabeth goes easily, though she makes unhappy noises at her heat source disappearing.

His chest feels like it's constricting. He doesn't think it's from his homemade binder, but just in case… Leo pulls his jeans on over the boxers Piper had stolen from a skinny boy at Wilderness School and picks his shoes and toolbelt up, tiptoeing out the door. He's on the bottom steps, putting his socks and shoes on, when he hears the cabin door open.

"Where are you going?"

It's Jason's voice, deep and unnecessarily quiet for the still night. Leo doesn't turn around.

"Wow, you're a light sleeper," Leo says instead of answering.

"Wasn't really asleep." The porch creaks a little where Jason steps, and Leo figures he could fix that if only he were able to turn around. Jason stops at the top steps and sits, bare feet next to Leo's hip. "Are you okay, Leo?"

"Totally," says Leo, "I’m always awesome."

"You know I know that isn't true."

Jason's voice is soft, but it feels like a slap in the face.

"It's not like you really -" Leo cuts himself off. He knows how easy it is to lash out and hurt someone, but he doesn't want to do that to Jason. He takes a deep breath - and winces - before continuing. "I'm fine, man, Piper was just cutting off my windpipe. I needed some fresh air."

He can practically smell Jason's worry, so he half turns his body and gives Jason his best reassuring smile.

It doesn't work. if anything, Jason's brow only furrows further.

"Leo," he says. "I know you."

_No_ , Leo wants to respond, _you don’t_.

He doesn't, though. He just nods and stands up, stretching. Then he walks away. Jason doesn't follow or call after him, which is a huge relief and only a minor disappointment.

Leo has to build a flying ship that will not only make it across the Atlantic, but protect his friends in the process. He has limited resources, manpower, and magic, and if he can't get it done, Gaea will take over the world. no pressure or anything.

The _point_ is, Leo doesn't have the time or energy to spend on a silly crush.

And it is. It's very silly. It was silly when it was fake Jason with his arm around Piper, closed off, a bit sarcastic; it was silly when it was quest Jason, memories gone, bewildered and brave; and it's silly now, with Jason remembering new things every day and Piper's feelings for him and how goddamn busy Leo is.

So he keeps walking, past his cabin and the basketball hoops, past the dining pavilion, into the creepy woods. He imagines Jason is watching him go.

\---

María-Elodia Valdez always knew he wasn't a girl. Thankfully, his mom was amazing and supportive - being called _mijo_ for the first time was one of the highlights of his entire life. He adopted 'Leo' from a ninja turtle, and the only time anyone called him by his dead name was when substitute teachers took roll. Kids were cruel, obviously, but he scraped by without any real trouble until his mom died.

Then, his dead name was all he heard. "María-Elodia, do you know what happened to your mother?" "María-Elodia, I bought you a proper church dress, say thank you." "María-Elodia, upon request of the court, you're being sent to the wilderness school in Nevada."

He felt like he was five again, yelling, "Call me Leo! I'm a ninja turtle boy!" at his bemused mom, except nobody was ever as amazing or supportive as she'd been. Mostly they just ignored him.

The only good thing he ever got out of María-Elodia was Piper McLean for a roommate. She was nice, stole some boys' clothes for him, and helped cut his hair where he couldn't quite reach. He'd never been happier to be misgendered by a school system.

Now that he's at camp with no official documents or people who knew him in school, he's finally run far enough to leave María-Elodia in the dust.

He should be a lot happier, he thinks as he walks away from the Hermes cabin with a box of tampons hidden away in his backpack. He isn't, but he should be.

\---

Leo expects Piper to visit, because Piper always visits while he's working, but she stays away. He doesn't know if it's punishment for leaving in the middle of the night or if she thinks he wants to be by himself. Either way, it's lonely.

On the third day of no Piper and Leo sleeping on the floor of the bunker, Annabeth marches in with Nyssa and two other girls in tow.

"I left the door open for Piper," Leo says, more sharply than he means to. Annabeth raises an eyebrow. He decides it's best to gloss over his snappiness, because Annabeth can be scary and he doesn't want to apologise anyway. He's stressed. It happens. "What's all this?"

"Your sisters and I," says Annabeth, and oh, yeah, that's who those other girls are, "want to help with the engine schematics."

Leo laughs. He wonders if they can hear the desperation in it.

"Look, ladies." Judging by Nyssa's eyes narrowing, he pulls off 'disrespectful boy' without a hitch. "That's nice of you, really, but if you think for a second I'm trusting anyone with this engine -"

"Then let us help with something else." The girl - his sister - has grease on her pale face and overalls, mouth set in a determined line. The other one is poring over his blueprints with a handheld magnifying glass. He doesn't trust them, not completely, but. They _are_ family, and Piper was right - they know what they're doing.

Turning back to the mess of wires on his lap so he doesn't see any triumphant expressions, he says, "Knock yourselves out."

There's a small commotion while the demigod girls all crowd around the blueprints and discuss where to start. He feels pride swelling up inside him when he hears how impressed they are, but then he tunes them out to focus.

Over the course of a few more days that sort of blend into one another, the girls and a couple of his other siblings come and go, reworking his plans from 'probably impossible' to 'shit, this is going to work.' Everybody knows to leave the engine alone, but one of his brothers has figured out how to use Wii controllers to rotate the oars that are going to be attached and Annabeth sleeps at a workbench so much that an Athena kid brought her blanket over.

Leo had expected it to be a lot louder than it is. Sure, there's more machinery and power tools working at all hours, but nobody really talks to each other unless they're figuring something out. It's kind of cool.

He starts to get worried that he's really upset Piper around a week after she stops coming to see him. With that hanging over him, he can't really put his full attention on what he's doing. He waits until he and Annabeth are the only ones in the bunker, scribbling on separate papers, to ask where Piper's been hiding.

Annabeth looks at him and blinks until her eyes are focused again. "She went home for a couple of weeks."

"Oh."

They continue working in silence until Nyssa strides in with the weak sunlight, and then they curl up at their stations for some shut-eye. Annabeth has a pair of earplugs for when she sleeps here, but Leo finds the din soothing. It always makes him feel like he's going to wake up in his mom's auto shop and see her again, pencils and grease holding her thick hair out of her face, her smile warmer than any fire Leo could make.

When he opens his eyes a handful of hours later, it isn't his mom's face greeting him. He knows it never will be, but some mornings it's harder than others.

"Hey," Jason lips say, too quietly for Leo to hear over the sounds of the bunker come alive.

"Morning, _güey_ ," says Leo. He's good at talking over machines, so Jason must be able to hear him, but he still gestures with his head for Leo to follow him outside. Leo uses Jason's strength to pull himself to his feet and head out.

It's nearly noon on a foggy January day, and the sun is blinding. Leo squints against the light to make Jason's features out.

"What's up?" he asks, too loudly for the softly bustling forest around them.

Jason just looks at him. He looks for so long that Leo starts getting restless, messing with the rip in his t-shirt and shifting from foot to foot. Leo wonders if he's ever going to speak. Finally, Jason sighs and slides down a tree to sit at its base - Leo is pretty sure he hears the tree giggle.

Looking at his hands, Jason says, "I'm worried."

"About what?" Leo laughs, shoving his own hands in his pockets so their shaking doesn't give him away. "About me? I’m fine, man, totally and completely in control of the sitch."

"You really aren't, Leo. You're not eating or sleeping."

"I just woke up," Leo points out, "and I had a vending-machine-sized bag of Doritos before going to sleep, so clearly you're wrong."

Jason rolls his eyes and looks up at Leo.

"Alright, fine, so you aren't eating or sleeping _properly_ ," he says, and his eyes are so intense that Leo has to close his own. "You haven't eaten a real meal since we got back from the West coast, and I don't think you've slept a full night in years. I have every right to be worried, Leo."

Honestly, Leo is ready to walk away from Jason again. He wants to laugh meanly like his foster siblings did and remind Jason that he has no right, none at all, because he barely knows Leo and it's really presumptuous to make a wild (albeit correct) assumption about Leo's sleeping habits. He wants to run again, farther this time, to Canada or Mexico or farther South, anywhere Jason's genuine concern can't reach him.

Voice shaking almost as much as his hands, Leo merely says, "I'll keep that in mind," and walks back into the bunker. He seals the door behind him.

\---

In the middle of the night, or possibly early the next morning, Connor (maybe Travis) Stoll pokes his head under Leo's engine and grins. It surprises Leo so much that he jumps a little and almost gives himself a concussion.

"What's going on?" he asks, rolling out from under the engine and glancing around the bunker. Aside from Annabeth - who appears to be asleep in front of the biology homework emailed to her - they're alone. Leo feels jumpy around the Stolls, but they don't really seem to mind about Leo's situation and haven’t pulled any pranks on him, so he keeps his paranoia in check.

"I wanted to ask you something," says Connor, and Leo knows it's Connor now, because they're eye-to-eye. "About the whole, y'know, Vagina 2: Electric Boogaloo thing."

"What?" Leo asks, then shakes his head. "Wait, why?"

Connor shoots him a crooked grin, and Leo realises that he's nervous. He has no idea what Connor has to be nervous about, but it's making Leo nervous too, and he starts fiddling with the tools on his workbench.

"I just wanted to know, like, how did you know? That you weren't, you know." Connor's eyes flicker over to Annabeth. "Y'know?"

"I do know," Leo assures him, relief flooding through his body. "I know exactly what you mean, but I don't really have a good answer for you. I always knew I wasn't who I should be. I mean, it's - it's hella crazy, man, the whole damn concept of, like, boys being one way with one type of junk and girls being the opposite and nothing in between. It doesn't make a ton of sense to me, people aren't that easy to put in boxes. At least I know I wasn't."

After a few quiet moments broken only by the low hum of Annabeth's computer and her accompanying snores, Connor tilts his head, looking more intrigued than nervous.

"The in-between," he says. "That's what I need to know more about."

"I don't know much of anything about that." Leo sees Connor's face fall, and his chest tightens. He has no time for this, none at all, but still he says, "but I can help you look into it," because how could he not?

The smile Connor grants him with is small and warm, and it makes Leo feel better about the distraction from the ship.

"Thanks," says Connor, sticking his hands in his pockets. He pauses. "Not that it matters, but this wasn't for me. It was for Travis."

Shrugging, Leo says, "Okay, so, bring him, and we'll make it a slumber party."

Connor doesn't thank him again, which Leo appreciates, but he does reach out for a fistbump before leaving Leo to his work. Leo wonders if it was _his_ situation that led to their questions. Probably. He doesn't know whether to feel guilty or proud.

\---

When Piper comes back, she's upset.

"What's wrong?" Leo asks before she's fully inside the bunker. There's nobody else there, not even Annabeth, so he doesn't bother being subtle. She immediately schools her expression into her Leo default - concerned irritation - but it's too late, he already knows she's unhappy about something. He puts down his screwdriver to better focus on her potential problem. "Did something happen with your dad?"

"No, he's great. He blew off some stuff to hang with me. It was pretty cool being told I was more important than drinks with Megan Fox."

"Then what's the matter?"

"Nothing, Leo, leave it alone."

Leo scoffs. "You know me better than that, Pipes. I've never left anything alone." He makes a conscious effort to sound soft and inviting when he adds, "C'mon, tell me what's wrong."

Sighing, Piper sits at Annabeth's workstation, running her hands over the wood grains.

"Okay, it isn't a big deal," she says, "but I asked Jason to be with me. Or, well, no, I asked if he wanted to go on a date, just a date, but."

She doesn't continue, and Leo knows he should be feeling something else, like worry or relief or whatever, but instead he is _blindingly angry_ ; anyone who makes Piper look like she is about to cry deserves to get punched in the face.

Piper is trying to convince him (and herself) that it isn't the end of the world and that she's okay, but Leo isn't listening. Struggling to keep his voice level, he cuts her off with a, "Jason did what?"

"Oh, Leo," says Piper, standing up to come closer. "It's _okay_ , I had a feeling he -"

"It's not okay," Leo insists.

"He's allowed to not be attracted to me," Piper says with a tiny laugh. "I’m not going to be an asshole about it, and you shouldn't be either."

She has a point, but Leo keeps fuming. All he knows for sure is that Jason hurt Piper, and - crush or no crush - Leo doesn’t want to let him get away with it. He reaches out and Piper falls into his arms easily, uncaring of the grease he's getting all over her, probably because she really needs the hug.

"I'll let him off the hook this time," he says, and Piper huffs a laugh against his neck.

"You have more important stuff to worry about anyway, Valdez."

Really, he does, but he doesn't know how to tell Piper that he'd rather watch the universe implode on itself before he'd see her cry. He hugs her until she's ready to leave and face the camp, to face Jason, and he doesn't once think that there is something else he should be doing.

"Come with me," Piper says when she pulls away. He opens his mouth to protest, but she is relentless. "You haven't eaten an actual meal in weeks, come on."

He's tempted to snap at her the way he did Jason, but the truth is that Piper knows him a lot better than Jason does, and she's only going to charmspeak him if he tries anyway. Leo allows himself to be led away from his work and through the woods, he and Piper both covered in various oils and greases, because maybe his best friends are right. Maybe he does need to eat. Since Jason hurt Piper, a much worse offense than simply worrying about Leo, Leo won't apologise for being a jackass. It all balances out.

Lunch is amazing. Leo has entirely forgotten what good food tastes like, and his siblings laugh at him when he moans around a chicken leg. They look more relaxed than he's ever seen them in the bunker, Nyssa especially, and it hits Leo that this is why everyone but Annabeth leaves. They need a break from the stress. He doesn’t have that luxury, and he knows that with her boyfriend depending on the Argo II, Annabeth doesn’t either.

He catches Jason's eye across the pavilion and doesn't know what to do for a second. He's angry, and Jason probably is too. Still, the doofus means a lot to Leo, so he smiles. Jason's returning grin is tentative but warm.

The three of them can work the tension out, Leo's sure, but first he needs to build a flying ship for the most important quest, like, ever, so he supposes they'll have to sort things out on the way to Greece.

\---

There are things Leo can get away with, now that he's left María-Elodia behind, because 'boys will be boys', and being a fifteen year old boy is like having a built-in excuse for being an asshole. He can make jokes at people's expense and generally be a clown with no consequences - usually.

"What did you just say?" the girl in front of him snarls. He wishes he'd skipped combat training again, but he does want to survive this war if possible and he doesn't know a lot.

"I said you're pretty?" he tries, wincing when she cracks her knuckles.

"That's almost worse," she says. "What did you just say about daughters of Aphrodite?"

He doesn't really remember, but he's guessing he voiced his thought about Aphrodite girls being useless in battle a little too loud. He was just trying to rile Piper up.

"Why? You're not one, are you?"

The girl raises her arms and looks at the rest of the class, like she's asking if he's serious. "Do I _look_ like a primadonna _quidnunc_? No. Ares is where it’s at."

"I'm really confused," Leo informs her. He's nervous - he hasn't gotten punched in the face in several years, and he's happy with that track record. "Like. Calm down. My best friend is a daughter of Aphrodite, I was just messing with her."

He points at Piper over his shoulder, wary of turning his back to this girl. He switches fingers to flip Piper the bird when he hears an amused "Hey, Clarisse."

Clarisse cracks her neck. "That's funny. So was mine."

_Mierda_. This is what happens when Leo lets the freedom of being a teenage boy go to his head: an angry demigod who could probably arm-wrestle Jason to the ground.

"Come on, Clarisse," Travis calls from his perch on a tall pile of sandbags. "It isn't like he's picking a fight with you, he was just talking to his friend."

"Everyone is always picking a fight with me," Clarisse says dismissively. "Fight me." There's a smattering of laughter among the campers, and Leo nervously joins them. He stops when Clarisse fixes him with a murderous glare. Now, Leo has never met the god of war, but he's pretty sure he never wants to.

Dropping to the ground, Travis pulls an exaggerated look of sympathy. "Aw, you miss Percy."

Clarisse throws a rock at his head so fast Leo doesn't understand how Travis ducks in time. She opens her mouth like she's going to lay into him, but then just makes a loud, annoyed screech and stalks away.

Gods, Leo swears he almost collapses in relief. He really didn't want to get punched. The other campers disperse, muttering and laughing amongst each other like they'd been itching to see Leo get beat up.

"I really thought you were going to get your ass handed to you," Piper says, clapping him on the shoulder. "I'm a little disappointed."

"You're the devil," he says. Travis goes to walk around them, but Leo grabs his arm. "And _you_ are my hero. How did you know she wouldn't just go after you?"

Travis shrugs. "She will. We can handle it better."

A slimy feeling rises in Leo's throat, and he drops Travis' arm. "Is this because of, you know, Electric Bugaboo or whatever?"

"Boogaloo," Travis corrects automatically, "and no, I'm not an asshole. It has nothing to do with that - you just can't handle yourself against Clarisse. Lots of guys can't."

"Wait, does he _know_?" Piper hisses.

"Uh, yeah, sorry, the Stolls swiped some tampons for me. I had to tell them."

"Why didn't you just ask me to get them?"

"I don't want you stealing for me!"

"I wouldn't need to steal, _merde embulante_ , I could have done the old-fashioned thing and purchased them for you."

"Piper, I -"

"This is enlightening," Travis cuts them off, "but you guys are getting loud."

Falling silent, Leo and Piper glance around. A few kids are looking at them curiously, but Leo is certain that nobody _knows._ There's no giggling or fake gagging, all of which he dealt with in foster homes and elementary schools, and it isn't like demigods are going to be any different than normal, obnoxiously mean kids.

Piper leans forward to kiss Leo's cheek, squeezing his hand to the point of pain, and walks off to join her cabin for some lazy sparring. Leo and Travis are left standing awkwardly in her wake.

At no point in his life has Leo been good with silence, so he immediately says, "I can borrow Annabeth's laptop if you want to come over for research."

"Okay," says Travis with a small smile. "Thanks."

"It's the least I can do," Leo says with feeling. He remembers the sheer confusion and loneliness that Travis must be going through, and even though he's got a ton on his plate, he isn't about to abandon someone like him.

He might be an asshole of a teenage boy, but that's something he isn't able to do.

\---

"You're spending a lot of time with the Stolls lately," Jason says, fiddling with the metal bits on Leo's workstation.

Normally Leo loves having Jason around, even when he's being a jackass who hurts Piper and thinks he knows Leo, but everyone else had left to celebrate... something. Leo isn't entirely sure what day it is. Except he was looking forward to working on the engine in an empty bunker - it's been over a month since he's been able to do that, and here's Jason, ruining his solitude like he owns the place.

"They're good people," Leo says, trying to casually avoid gendering Travis without giving anything away. Jason makes a skeptical humming noise. "They _are_ , dude."

"I believe you."

Not only is Jason's tone saying that he really doesn't believe Leo, he also sounds annoyed.

"Okay, what is your _problem_?" Leo asks, throwing his screwdriver down and glaring up at Jason. "In general, not with the Stolls."

"I don't have a problem," Jason says in the sulkiest tone Leo has ever heard him use. He scowls, hoping that Jason can feel how unimpressed he is.

Leo grabs his tools again and hammers away at the engine, making as much noise as he can. Jason says his name a couple of times, but Leo just ignores him, not wanting to talk to a Jason that's in such a shitty mood over nothing. Eventually Jason kneels beside him and pulls Leo's hands away from the ship's engine, cradling them in his own. Leo's breath catches a bit, and he scolds himself mentally. This isn't the time for his silly crush to be rearing its head.

"I'm sorry," says Jason, sounding incredibly genuine. "I know I've been making you upset a lot and I don't mean to, really."

"You haven't -" Leo cuts himself off and looks down at his feet.

"Yeah." Jason drops one of his hands and for a split second Leo feels terrible, like admitting to being upset with Jason was the last straw in their tense friendship, but Jason just uses the free hand to tilt Leo's chin up.

He's looking at Leo so solemnly, and Leo's heart is in his throat. He feels like he's about to tumble down the Grand Canyon again.

"What's up?" he asks, pretending his voice isn't shaking.

Jason cups Leo's jaw in his calloused hand, and Leo hates how small he is compared to Jason. It's like a neon sign screaming that Leo isn't a late bloomer, he's just a fraud, and he really hopes Jason doesn't notice how smooth the skin on his chin is. Jason, completely unaware of the potential panic attack he's causing, says, "You're my best friend, Leo."

That isn't what Leo was expecting to hear, and he's honestly not sure how to respond. Luckily, Jason doesn't give him a chance.

"I know school wasn't real," Jason adds, awkwardly taking his hand away from Leo's face. "And I have most of my memories back now so I get why you think... I get it, Leo, I do, but you're wrong. I _do_ know you, and I care about you."

"No homo, though, right?" Leo's voice is hoarse but he forces a laugh anyway, because that's how boys are supposed to react to emotion. Jason frowns at him.

"That sounds mean," Jason says. "I’m not entirely sure why you’re saying it, but it sounds mean."

Leo shrugs, pulling his hand away from Jason's so he can fiddle anxiously with his tools. "Yeah, I'm. I don't know why I said that." Jason lets him pretend to be occupied in cleaning the grease off a hammer for what feels like half an hour but with Leo's ADHD is more likely four minutes. "But... what about your friends? Back home?"

"They're great, I guess," Jason says, wiping his palms on his thighs. Leo probably sweat on them. "And I know I've done dangerous stuff with them, too, so it isn't about that."

"Then what _is_ it about, man?" Leo focuses on his tools again so he doesn't have to see that sincere look on Jason's stubbornly pretty face. "Because you don't really know me, Jason, like at all. Is it my sparkling wit?"

"I do." For the first time, Jason sounds frustrated. Leo refuses to look up. "Leo, of course I know you."

No, he doesn't, because Leo is keeping at least three major secrets from him, but to be fair Piper only knows one of them, and she's definitely Leo's best friend. So maybe Leo isn't being fair.

"Okay," he says, glancing up at Jason through his bangs. He needs to get Piper to cut his hair soon. "Thank you."

Jason smiles, and it's almost blinding. "I'll leave you alone now, if you want."

"I don't want," Leo admits. "Why don't we hang out? Put a movie on while I work on quieter stuff."

"How?" Jason asks, looking at Leo's smart LCD screen warily. Leo wonders how the hell Jason can be so ignorant of technology, now that he's got his memories back, but maybe the place he came from was stricter than Camp Half-Blood about this kind of stuff.

Netflix's home page is full of romantic comedies and dramas with posters of white people kissing in the rain, and Leo is confused until he realises it's Valentine's Day. No wonder everyone bailed last night.

"Why isn't Annabeth here?" he wonders, and Jason makes a confused noise. Leo points at the date in the corner of the screen.

"Oh, yeah, she and Piper went into the city. I guess neither of them wanted to, um, wallow or something like that." Jason sounds so guilty about making Piper sad that Leo almost feels bad for holding it against him. "I don't blame them, it's scary down at the camp. I heard Aphrodite herself got involved in the decorations. Let's watch that," he adds, pointing at the Disney section.

"Are you pointing at Mulan or Hercules?" Leo asks. "Because either way, yes."

They end up watching both - Jason tells Leo that he's seen a lot of recent movies, but as a kid he wasn't allowed to leave the camp for anything, so he missed a lot of pop culture. He gets really into Mulan, and Leo acts like he isn't super affected by it. He also acts like he doesn't see Jason tear up during Go the Distance. It's nice. It feels like they're just regular guys, watching Disney movies and laughing at all the juvenile jokes. Leo's silly crush almost feels normal, too, like he's just kinda into his friend, which makes spending Valentine's Day together kinda embarrassing.

No monsters, no gods, no wars; just the ones in the movies. Nothing but happily ever afters and Jason's arm, warm against his. It's a good day.

\---

Leo finishes the engine near the end of February, and he's ecstatic about it. He can finally start building the ship itself, though he'll need to do the majority of that down by the docks, which means more distractions. Plus he'll probably need to start sleeping in his cabin, which is a little nerve-wracking. Sure, he's the counsellor, but his siblings are good with the independence they have now, and he doesn’t want to upset the balance. A democracy is more Greek anyway.

When he tells his siblings and Annabeth about the engine being done, not a single one of them celebrates. Leo thinks that they must know the hardest part is yet to come, and they’re already being pessimistic about it working. Hephaestus really gave his kids a lot of good stuff: defeatism, social issues, pure anxiety. Possibly that last one is just Leo.

Nobody voices the concern while they pack their stuff up and move down to the docks, or while they argue with the satyrs about using a wooden frame, or while they use Leo's hands as welding tools when they lose that argument. It takes weeks for anybody to say something.

The Argo II's frame is well on its way to being done when Jake Mason sighs, puts a blueprint down, and says, "Okay, how do we make it fly?"

Leo doesn't trust magic. He can't take it apart to see how it works, the power goes to people's heads, and it's too easy to lose control of. Still, it isn't like he can make a ship fly using elbow grease and willpower alone. Reluctantly, he recruits the Hecate cabin. He hates seeing their hands touching his plans and his ship, but if he doesn't trust the people at this camp, the Argo II might never leave the ground.

He has countless meetings with them while his siblings work on the physical ship, Annabeth taking furious notes beside him like she'll be able to figure it out if she types everything down fast enough. He feels like the older Hecate kids and Annabeth are the only people he spends time with nowadays, so when he trudges back to his cabin late one night, he's deliriously happy to see Jason sitting on the porch steps.

"Hi," he says, letting his grin take over his face. Jason smiles back at him and holds up what looks like a DVD. "I taught you how to use Netflix, didn't I? I didn't dream that?"

"Shut up," Jason says without dropping his smile. "I thought you'd want to see this exclusive copy of the new Tristan McLean movie."

"Shut _up_ ," Leo echoes. His voice slips dangerously into teenage girl territory when he says it, but Jason doesn't seem to notice. He clears his throat and drops to sit beside Jason on the steps, looking the DVD case over. It's regular white paper with the title written in Sharpie, like a pirated copy, but Leo is positive it's going to have an Oscar watermark across it the whole time. "Does it have explosions?"

"Probably," Jason laughs. "Piper hated it."

"That sounds awesome! But I’m beat. Can we watch it in the morning?" He yawns as if on cue, and Jason's face falls a little.

Before Leo can say anything else, Jason abruptly stands. "Yeah, course, I'll see you in the morning."

"Well, hey," says Leo, grabbing Jason by his belt loop before he can run away. "Stay. I miss you."

Jason's expression softens, and his fingers brush through Leo's curls so briefly Leo thinks his tired brain probably imagined it. "Yeah, okay," he says, "let's get you into bed."

He helps Leo to his feet, steadying him when he almost stumbles off the stairs. Leo is standing two steps above Jason yet still only comes up to his nose, which. It's embarrassing, is what it is, and sooner or later somebody's going to notice Leo's height or his hips or... something. He walks up the rest of the stairs before he leans into Jason's warmth for comfort or something equally dimwitted. Luckily, all of Leo's siblings are already asleep in their private rooms - normally they sleep in the main area of the cabin but, honestly, they've all been seeing way too much of each other - so he pulls Jason down onto his bed and pushes the button to sink them into the room Leo's been in maybe twice.

"What in Hades," Jason says, looking around. The blue LED lights on the bed illuminate the room. It isn't anything cool compared to the bed itself, just some tables with half-finished projects and a bunch of clothes lying around, but Jason sounds awed. "And I still have to sleep on the floor in my cabin."

"Oh, right," Leo laughs, kicking his boots off. he hears one clang against something, but it can't be very important. "I'll build you a bed sometime, just remind me."

"Nah, you've got a lot on your plate." Jason puts the DVD on the closest table, then unties his shoes and places them neatly beside the bed.

Jason isn't wrong, but Leo would probably set aside anything to make him happy. Even the world. Which... is what's at stake if he can't get the Argo II to fly. He's suddenly keyed up, and he jumps out of bed, searching frantically for his boots in the dim light. He hears Jason ask what's wrong, but he doesn't have time to explain, he needs to get back to the ship.

He finds a boot and tugs it on, falling onto the edge of the bed in his haste. Before he can feel around for the other, arms wrap around his torso from behind, effectively pinning his own arms to his sides.

"It can wait," Jason says firmly in his ear. Leo shivers at the sensation and, without his permission, the shivers turn to full-on shakes.

It's just so overwhelming. There's so much to do in so little time, and everyone is depending on him. Jason to get home, Annabeth to get her boyfriend back, and the entire freakin' world to stop Gaea from rising. He's only fifteen, he can't handle this.

He can't breathe. His hands grip onto Jason's forearms, but he doesn't know if he's trying to hold him there or pull him away. All he knows is that Jason is the only real thing in the world right now.

His eyes start to well up, but he chokes them back. He's pretty sure boys aren't supposed to cry. He's been hearing that all his life, from foster parents and teachers and TV, but maybe he isn't a boy, not really. Because he's definitely crying, leaning back into Jason's chest and wailing like a baby.

Jason says things. Leo isn't listening, but he can tell by Jason's tone that they're concerned and kind and he doesn't deserve them.

It takes a long time, definitely longer than Leo could have comforted someone for, but he calms down. He tugs Jason's arms away from his chest area - a danger zone, really, and Leo wouldn't have let Jason hug him this way if he'd been thinking straight - and takes several deep breaths.

"Thank you," he says, staring at the wall so he doesn't have to look at Jason's worried face. It feels like he's alone in the room for a moment, which gives him the courage to add, "You're my best friend."

Jason squeezes his shoulder. "Come on," he says, "you need to sleep."

Pulling his sole boot off again, Leo allows himself to be guided back to bed. Normally he'd be anxious about how small his bed is compared to the amount of room Jason takes up, but Jason's back, warm against his own, is reassuring. Leo curls up with his arm under a pillow and prays to every god he hasn't pissed off that he sleeps through the night.

He does, but he thinks it has more to do with Jason's presence than the will of the gods. He isn't about to take any risks, though, so he still thanks them during breakfast.

\---

"Should I change my name?" Travis asks, sitting in the frame of a ship cabin while Leo works around them.

"Well, do you want to change your name?" Leo has to talk around the thumbtacks in his mouth. He's doing the measurements for the individual cabins and putting tarp where the walls will be. It's boring work, so he's glad Travis decided to come hang out for a while.

Travis scratches their neck. After a couple of minutes, they say, "I think so. Travis is pretty masculine. Hey, if you don't mind me asking, where did ‘Leo’ come from? Did your mom call you Leah or something?"

"Yes, that's exactly what my Mexican mother did," Leo says, spitting out the thumbtacks so the sarcasm is clearer.

"You're Mexican?" Travis fake-gasps. Leo throws a wad of tarp at them, snickering.

"I got it from the ninja turtles," Leo admits. "It wasn't exactly Alejandro, but it sounded nice and Spanish coupled with my last name, so Mom was cool with it."

Absentmindedly unravelling the tarp to make Leo's job easier, Travis hums. "Was your mom cool with... everything else?"

Leo uses the tape measure on the far wall so that he doesn't have to look at Travis. Yeah, his mom was very cool, she'd let him pick out his own clothes for as long as he could remember and she'd transitioned to calling him _mijo_ without a hiccup. She'd been amazing.

"Yeah," he says, voice steadier than he expects.

"That's really awesome," Travis says with feeling, and Leo tosses a grin at them over his shoulder. "I don't think my mom would be cool with it, but Dad is. He's who suggested the name thing."

Even with all the knowledge of his father Leo has now, and the respect he's slowing been garnering for him, the fact that Travis' dad had talked to them about the gender thing and made sure Travis knew he was okay with it - well, Leo can't pretend he isn't jealous. Still, he knows how much their dad's approval means to Travis, so he doesn't let jealousy colour his words. "That's seriously cool, dude. Wait, should I not call you dude?"

Travis smiles in the warmest way Leo has ever seen them. Normally, the Stolls have at least a little sardonic humour to every smile they grant, something to remind the person they're talking to of how bored they probably are with the conversation. It's nice to see Travis smiling genuinely for once.

"Dude is okay, thanks," they say, smiling down at the tarp instead. "What do you think about the name thing?"

"I think if you like Travis, stick with it," Leo says with a shrug. "If you don't, change it. It's pretty simple stuff. I mean..." He takes a deep breath. "I straight up couldn't stand being called my birth name."

For a moment Travis is quiet, and Leo’s heart feels like it’s beating way too fast. He hadn’t even said María-Elodia out loud and he still has a physical reaction.

Eventually, they say, "I kind of like Travis. For now, anyway."

Leo makes some kind of agreeable humming noise and holds his hands out for the tarp. He knows that there are people wondering why he's bothering with individual cabins when most demigods are used to sleeping in common bunks, but Travis is one of the few people who doesn't question him on it, and just brings him what he needs.

He's pretty sure he can call Travis a friend, now.

Not that he will, because voicing real feelings out loud isn't Leo's thing, but it's cool that he has someone outside of Piper and Jason to hang out with. Someone not involved in the prophecy.

"Why is this room so big?" Travis asks, sounding prematurely exasperated.

"Do you really want to fight with Coach Hedge over his room dimensions, or do you want to help me hang this tarp up high?"

\---

Sometime in April, a kid shows up at camp. He literally comes out of nowhere, and everyone starts whispering amongst themselves. Even Jason looks surprised, and Leo thinks he hears the word ‘Hazel’ come out of Jason's mouth, even though the only colour anywhere on the boy is black.

He says maybe three words to Chiron, whispers something to Annabeth, and disappears again.

"Who was that?" Piper asks the general area. Leo’s relieved that he isn’t the only one in the dark, considering how big a deal the long-time campers seem to consider this appearance.

"Just a friend," Annabeth replies, looking concerned. "But he really should have stuck around to hear where Percy is."

\---

The Argo II starts to really come together. It still can't fly, but the ship itself is looking very impressive. Leo doesn't allow himself to feel proud, not yet, but Annabeth has no such compunction.

"This is amazing," she gushes, running her hands over the steering mechanisms. "It'll be ready to go in the water soon."

"Not in the air, though," Leo reminds her. She waves his negativity off.

"We're ahead of schedule," says Annabeth. "And you, Leo, are in severe need of a break. We should go into the city and celebrate." He opens his mouth to protest, but Annabeth is having none of it. "Come on, when was the last time you stopped thinking about the mechanics of a flying ship and just had fun?"

"Christmas," he admits.

"That's what I thought," she says with a small smile. "I promised Piper I'd take her to the Met sometime, and despite what I've told her about Zeus, she also wants to do a sky tour."

Leo has been to exactly one museum in his life, and that trip ended with him nearly dying at the Grand Canyon. He isn't anxious to repeat the spectacle. Still, Annabeth looks so excited that he can't say no. He hasn't dressed for anything but working in so long that he's pretty sure all of his clothes have grease stains, so he stops by the Hermes cabin. It's empty except for Connor and a napping girl.

"Yo," Connor says when Leo drops onto his bed, putting his travel magazine down.

"I need to borrow some clothes," Leo tells him. "something I can wear to the Met, since everything I own has some kind of stain on it and, y'know, we're about the same size."

Nodding, Connor reaches beside his bed and grabs hold of what looks like a v-neck shirt. "This work?" Leo fixes him with his best 'are you serious' look. "Oh, right. something baggier. Uh, here. And grab one of Travis' sweaters, I don't have anything else clean."

"Thanks," Leo says, taking the red jeans offered to him before getting up and searching the bunk next to Connor's for a clean hoodie.

"What're you going to the met for?" Connor asks, nose back in the magazine.

"Annabeth and Piper want to celebrate."

"Celebrate what?"

"The Argo II is almost ready to go in the water, and I guess Annabeth sees that as a huge deal." Leo pulls a band hoodie over his head - he doesn't recognise the logo, but the Stolls listen to a very different kind of music than he does. He's wearing an old pair of boxers and hasn't shaved his legs since he started growing hair there, so he feels okay with changing his pants in the middle of the hermes cabin. "Do I look okay?"

"Very manly," Connor says without glancing at him. Leo balls up his pants and throws them at Connor's head. Connor laughs and looks Leo over. "You look like you stepped directly out of 2006."

Leo snorts. "I'd have to straighten my hair for that to be _really_ true. Thanks for the loan, man."

"Sure, keep them," says Connor. "Have a good time at the met with _Annabeth Chase_ , that's not going to be a bore at all."

It probably won't be, but Leo doesn't like to advertise how much of a nerd he is. Admitting to liking ninja turtles or Weird Al is one thing, because that’s pretty typical of clownish teenage boys, but being impressed by architecture and engineering and art is a whole other ball game.

He waves goodbye to Connor and heads out. On the way to the Big House to meet up with the girls, he almost literally runs into Jason.

"Hi," Leo says, grinning bigger than he means to. "You joining us?"

"Yeah, Annabeth thought it would be best to have me along for the sky tour," Jason says. He walks alongside Leo, hands in his pockets, and gives Leo a sidelong look. "I've never seen you wear that sweater."

"It's not mine," Leo laughs. "Travis let me borrow it." Technically, Connor had, but Leo doesn't want to make the conversation complicated.

Something about that makes Jason's jaw clench. Leo explains about the machine oil on all of his own clothes, rambling a little, because Jason is weirdly silent.

The girls are waiting for them on the porch, Annabeth working a tiny braid into Piper's hair. Jason smiles at them, but still doesn't say anything. He's quiet on the van ride into the city and basically the entire tour of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, seeming content with letting Leo and Annabeth argue over the history of major works. The girls don't seem to find anything strange about it, and Leo supposes that Jason isn't super talkative to begin with, but something about his silence seems... off. Leo doesn't like it.

He tugs on Jason's sleeve on their way to lunch, but Jason just smiles at him and walks faster to catch up with Annabeth.

Piper sees this happen and hangs back, sliding her hand into Leo's and squeezing.

Aside from Jason's weirdness, it's an amazing day. The sun is surprisingly warm for early April, and Annabeth knows most of the city like the back of her hand. Sometimes she'll stop and look at something with unfocused eyes, and Leo knows she's thinking about Percy Jackson. When this happens, Piper wraps an arm around her and marvels at all the skyscrapers until Annabeth rejoins them in the present. The pizza is excellent, the people aren't nearly as rude as Leo had expected, and all in all, he's a fan of Manhattan.

Piper shells out an obscene amount of money for the four of them to get on a helicopter, and Jason finally speaks to hiss in Piper's ear that he can do a sky tour for free, but she ignores him and shoves him in the back beside Leo.

New York City from above is one of the most amazing sights Leo has ever seen. Screw the Grand Canyon, _this_ should be one of the most celebrated tourist locations. It's all manmade, every single block of brick and mortar, and the gods still deign to live above it. He has never been so awed by something humans made.

"Wow," he says, breathless, and looks at his friends to make sure they're all as blown away as he is. Annabeth grins at him from the front seat and Piper leans around Jason to beam at Leo.

"You like it?" she asks over the noise of the helicopter. He nods, enthusiastic, and looks at Jason with question in his eyes.

Jason smiles, big and sweet and warm.

"Totally worth it," he says. He squeezes Leo's knee and eye-crinkles at him.

Up so high with Jason looking at him like he's more amazing than the city below them, Leo's heart constricts almost painfully. For the first time since he saw fake Jason at Wilderness School and felt his palms start to sweat, he thinks, _maybe_.

He can't think about it for very long, though, because he sees Annabeth in the front seat with the same look on her face as when she learned to use the steering mechanism on the Argo II.

"What?" Leo yells, and Annabeth turns to him with shining eyes.

"I figured it out!" she shouts back.

Jason's grip on his knee tightens and Piper laughs musically. For his part, Leo thinks he can hear his heart in his eardrums.

\---

Leo doesn't sleep for three days straight.

Sure, Annabeth has a theory more sound than any other they've come up with, but he still needs to finish the ship before they can test it, otherwise the weight will be off.

Everyone helping them kicks it into high gear, and the rest of the camp joins in as well. They still aren't scheduled to finish for another two months, but having the possible solution to such a glaring problem is giving the other campers a boost of productivity. With everyone else giving the Argo II their full attention, Leo doesn't feel right leaving his ship at all, and Annabeth is right there with him the whole time.

Jason and Piper take turns bringing Leo food, but no amount of cajoling will get him to stop working now that he can see the finish line. Even when Piper uses charmspeak, she doesn't get him farther than two yards from the docks before he's putting in earplugs and running back.

He's watching the sun rise for the fourth time when his hands stop working. They're shaky beyond usefulness, and he decides that the engine room is as good a place as any to collapse.

When he wakes up, he's a lot more comfortable than he should be. He squints warily. It's too dark to see anything without opening his eyes fully, so he does, and for some reason he's surprised that he's in his own bed in his own private room. There's nobody with him - he wonders who brought him here and how long he's been out, but his eyes are still so heavy. He allows himself some more sleep.

\---

"Happy birthday," Leo calls out, trying to open the door to the Hermes cabin without dropping the presents in his arms.

"Thanks," Travis and Connor chorus.

It isn't actually their birthday, but apparently they decided years ago that it was easier to celebrate one birthday in between their real ones - something to do with pretending to be twins for most of their youth. The Hermes kids are all there, but nobody even pretends to help Leo get through the door. Leo honestly isn't surprised. He drops the presents on Connor's bed and hugs both brothers.

"I can't stay long," he says, and Travis groans loudly.

"You will stay all night," Connor insists. "That damn boat will still be there in the morning. By the way, I love the wrapping job on these."

"Shut up, it was either old t-shirts or tarp, and I need the tarp." He tosses the smaller one at Travis and firmly adds, "That's not for everyone's eyes, dude."

Some of the kids catcall, and one of Travis' sisters almost falls over when she leans into their space to peek. Travis shoves her face away and commando-rolls under a bunk to open it. Leo laughs. That amount of secrecy wasn't necessary, Leo just figured Travis wouldn't want anyone else seeing the 'nonbinary babe' t-shirt he got for them.

Connor, on the other hand, opens his present like a feral animal and immediately starts playing with the toy robot Leo built.

"Leo," Travis' fond voice comes from under the bunk. "Thank you so much."

"What did you get him?" a slightly younger boy asks. Leo thinks quick - he doesn't want to accidentally out Travis.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he asks with the filthiest wink he's capable of. The cat-calling returns in full force, and Connor falls off his bed with laughter. Leo hopes that was okay. When Travis comes back out from under the bed and gives Leo an exaggerated kiss on the cheek, he figures it was fine.

\---

Leo is working in the bunker for the night on the figurehead dimensions when Piper slams her hands down on the table he's at. "Leo Santiago Valdez."

"That's not my middle name," he says, looking up at her in confusion.

"Right, but I don't know either your real one or the masculine one you prefer, so I picked at random." She glares at him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you my middle name? Because I hate it."

" _No_ , Leo, why didn't you tell me you were dating Travis Stoll?" Piper sounds so serious and hurt that Leo almost feels bad for bursting into laughter. He turns back to his sketches, feeling free to focus now that he knows what the issue is.

Patting her hand absentmindedly, Leo says, "Because I'm not. We were messing with Travis' siblings."

"Oh," she says, and then sits down across from him. "Sorry about that."

"I don't exactly have time to date anyone," Leo reminds her, "but if I ever find the time, I promise you'll be the first to know. You won't have to find out through Hermes gossips."

Piper spreads her arms out. "That's all I ask. Well, that, and you tell me about all your secret little crushes, since I've always told you mine."

Smiling without humour, Leo glances up at her. "So you know about it?"

"How could I not?" Piper asks with a tiny sympathetic smile of her own. "Putting aside all the weird intuition I got from mom, I'm your best friend. I've known since the first time I asked you if you knew the new kid and you said 'uh, I, uh, yeah, Gym.'"

"That wasn't real," Leo points out.

"It's real now," she counters. He can't argue with that. Sighing, she takes both of his hands in her own. "Leo. Just tell him."

"I can't." He tears his hands away and stands up, pacing the length of the table. She's making him feel way more anxious about Jason than he's felt in months. "I can't tell him, Pipes, he'll hate me and then the quest to Greece will be _really weird_."

"Ugh, you're both so annoying," Piper says, blowing her hair out of her face with an irritated breath. "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but if I leave you to your own devices you'll both be old and withered before you say anything to each other, so here it is: he likes you. He does. And he's upset that you're, according to everyone down at camp, macking on the tall Stoll. So please, for the love of all the gods, tell him how you feel."

Leo doesn't stop pacing. He's had a feeling about Jason for a couple of weeks now, but it doesn't change anything. He doesn't know how to convey how bad an idea this is, so he just says, "I'm not who he thinks I am."

"So what if you have a vagina?" Piper practically yells, and Leo looks around the empty bunker out of habit. "You're still you!"

"You know it isn't that easy," he says, wringing his hands.

"It might as well be," she scoffs. "Am I a little jealous? Of course. But you're what he wants, and we both know you feel the same about him. I don't know what kind of person you think Jason is, but he isn't going to hate you." Leo feels bad for a few seconds - he can't believe he forgot how hurt Piper had been - but Piper just rolls her eyes. "Please, Leo, go say something to him. Anything."

Something about her expression, or possibly the repressed charmspeak in her voice, makes Leo say, "Okay, okay, I'll go talk to him, thanks, Pipes," and bolt out of the bunker before she can respond.

\---

Leo doesn't need to look far to find Jason. He's playing basketball with Will Solace and some other Apollo kids, which Leo thinks is kind of like challenging Coach Hedge to a pie-eating contest. On any other day Leo would loudly and incorrectly commentate the match until someone threw the ball at his head, but he's on a mission.

He waves his arms like a windmill until Jason notices him and jogs over.

"What's up?" he asks. "Is something wrong with the ship?"

"I need to talk to you," Leo says vaguely. Jason's brow furrows, but he yells something to the Apollo kids and allows Leo to lead him to the Zeus cabin. Leo sits on the bottom steps, too chicken to go inside in case this ends badly and he needs a quick getaway.

For a demigod, Jason has a lot of patience. He waits, hands folded on his knees, for Leo to collect his thoughts.

Leo, well. Leo decides to be brave.

"There's stuff you don't know about me," he tells Jason, looking out over the cabins and tapping anxiously on the wooden step beside him.

With an amused huff, Jason says, "There's a lot neither of us know about me, Leo."

"Right, but not because you've been purposefully hiding stuff from me. Or yourself." Leo forces out a laugh. It sounds way too high to his own ears, and for a moment he hopes Jason doesn't notice. Then he remembers it doesn't matter. "First of all, I'm not dating Travis Stoll. That was a misunderstanding, not one of the secrets I kept from you."

"How many secrets are you keeping?" Jason asks in a quiet tone. There's a trace of relief in it, and Leo hopes that Jason won't change his mind about _his_ silly crush. Unfortunately, experience says he will.

Powering through the spike in anxiety that thought gives him, Leo says, "Three."

"That's not very many."

"No, but they're major ones."

"Okay," Jason says, putting his hand palm-down on the step between them. His pinky is so close to Leo's that Leo swears he feels a literal spark of electricity. "Lay them on me."

Leo takes a deep breath. He can't figure out which thing he should lead with, so he ends up blurting the first thing that comes to mind. "I'm a boy, right? I mean... you see that, right?" Jason makes some kind of affirmative noise, but Leo can't stop now that he's started. "It hasn't always been, like, obvious. Lots of people thought I wasn't, for a really long time."

"Why'd they think something like that?" Jason asks, soft and uncertain.

"I guess because my birth certificate said I wasn't," Leo says with a nervous grin. He squeezes his eyes shut so he doesn't have to see such a bright and sunshiney day when his best friend leaves. "It said… well, I don’t like saying it, but they called me baby girl Valdez in the hospital.”

Jason laughs, not unkindly, and Leo blinks his eyes open to stare at him.

"Sorry." Jason's smile is wide and bright, and Leo feels like he doesn't deserve this. "I'm not laughing at you, Leo, you were just worrying me _so_ much, and this isn’t even a bad thing. You're not the first trans person I've met, you know."

"How do you know that word?" Leo can feel his eyes practically bugging out of his head.

With a tiny laugh, Jason shifts his hand to cover Leo's. "For one thing, it's a Latin word," he says, "but I know it because I got a very long lecture from a friend of mine when I walked in on her shaving her face, and when Reyna lectures, you listen. It's fine, Leo. I understand." His eyes are gleaming when he looks down at where their hands are loosely tangled and adds, "There were other things you wanted to tell me?"

"Probably," says Leo, a grin creeping up on him before he can stop it. He thinks about the ash choking him when everything he loved went up in flames and decides that's a secret he can keep a while longer. Jason had been so adamant that it wasn't Leo's fault, and hopefully some details won't change his opinion.

"Anything important?" Jason asks. He still isn't looking at Leo, so Leo pulls his hand out from under Jason's and throws his arms around Jason's neck instead.

"Just that, you know," he says, and kisses Jason.

Jason's arms pull him closer on the porch steps and hold him there until they're both smiling too much to keep kissing. Leo presses one last kiss to the corner of Jason's mouth, and this time he's positive there's an electric spark.

Grinning like a doofus, Jason says, "I'm okay with that one, too."

\---

"It's done," Leo says, checking his watch. "Only... _chinga tu madre_ , two days and fourteen hours late. Somebody wake Annabeth up." Piper runs off the deck at top speed. Leo snorts. "Yet she refused to run a single lap in gym class. You ready to go save your camp, _mi cielo_?"

Jason adjusts his purple toga - which Leo thinks looks ridiculous, but it's supposed to be symbolic and it calms Jason down - and nods.

"I'm ready to save Camp Jupiter," he says neutrally.

"What about the world?" Leo asks, giving Jason a quick kiss before moving towards the steering mechanisms. "Are you ready to save the world? I’m definitely not."

Scoffing, Jason leans against the nearest portion of ship that isn't part of the Argo II's steering. "Please," he says, voice shaking just enough for Leo to know how scared he really is. "We were born for this."

**Author's Note:**

> a huge thanks to everyone who helped me with this: katie, caden, noah, janira, and most of all charlie. i owe charlie my first born by now, for how often and how MUCH they help me with junk like this. 
> 
> thank you for reading!


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